Is it our convict Irish roots that has embedded the love of the punt deep within the Australian soul? We play Two Up on ANZAC day in some strange ritualistic ceremony to evoke the spirit of digger’s past. The pokies hold ordinary Australians in their thrall, inside a beeping, flashing RSL hall. We are the only nation that stops for a horse race on that first Tuesday in November. I remember the Melbourne Cup being beamed into our school classroom in grade three or four; a funny kind of education, if you ask me.
Two Up, Pokies & the Gee Gees: Proudly Australian Vices
These days gambling is almost compulsory in the Great Southern Land. Corporate bookmakers from around the world have landed on these fair shores and discovered a motza of mug punters. They tell us that betting is better with free bets and then make massive profits on our accrued losses. The Two Up, Pokies & the Gee Gees: Proudly Australian vices. They are our constitutional rights. Australia no longer lives on the sheep’s back, nor thrives from what’s mined from big holes in the ground, rather we gamble with finite resources.
Australian manufacturing is a joke, which is desperately unfunny. The Yanks and the Japs have buggered off back to their homes, still with our car industry in their pockets. Apple and Google don’t pay our taxes, but charge us double for their products, just because they can. We have a smarmy ex-merchant banker for a prime minister, who complains about out of work Australians on welfare. The country is going to the dogs my friend, even in New South Wales, where they tried and failed to outlaw the greyhound racing industry. Still a free bet is a free bet in anybody’s language.
As the fruity numbers spin on my one-armed bandit, well, actually, this one has no arms at all, I ponder on the fate of our once great nation. This big island surrounded by open seas, where we fight off the Musselmans and their families. ‘No more boat people’ is a universal chant on both sides of politics. Every Aussie agrees that this sinking ship will decide who gets on board. The Great Australian Dream of home ownership is only available to millionaires now. But proudly Australian vices, like Two Up, pokies & the gee gees, are compulsory recreational activities; endorsed by high taxing governments everywhere.